I've been thinking a lot today about how blessed I've been through this journey so far. Then something that I hadn't thought about in a while smacked me upside the head. I've often wondered why God allowed us to get pregnant with ML so quickly after we got married. Our plan was to wait 2-3 years to have a baby so that I could easily finish graduate school. We had been married 6 months when we found out I was pregnant and all our plans were thrown out the window. Even during that moment of shock, we knew that God had plans that were bigger than ours and that we just had to trust in him. It hit me today that he knew we'd be walking down this road now. If we had it our way on when to have kids, I probably would have been pregnant when I found the lump. God knew what we didn't and chose to bless us with what we wanted earlier than we wanted it.
Until today, I'd been feeling sorry for myself because I still want another baby and can't even try to have one for at least 5 years. But now, I'm thankful that God's plans aren't my own and that he chose to bless me with a child before I was ready for one. I'm in awe of how he works things together for our good, even when we would have preferred them to have been totally different.
I forgot to mention this last week, but my genetic testing came back negative. In all the tests they did, no mutation was found in the BRCA-1 or BRCA-2 genes.
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