one of those days

Today has been one of those days that I feel absolutely useless for anything other than a soft spot for the girls. I have gotten absolutely nothing done today other than attending to two very needy girls. I had a feeling last night that this might happen, but it still frustrates me. I knew Mattie Leigh would be more needy than usual because she has a couple boo-boos from where she fell last night trying to ride her trike down the back steps. Don't ask me what possessed her to do that other than the fact that she wanted to ride her bike in the yard and thought she had to ride it down the steps to get to do that. I'm so thankful that her only injuries are scrapes on her left hand...it could've been so much worse. Poor Allie Grace is just having some tummy issues I think, but she wants to be held and screams if I lay her down or sit her in her bouncer or swing. So, we've been piled up in the recliner since we got up this morning and it doesn't look like that is going to change any time soon.

in the blink of an eye

Today has been one of those days that makes you realize how precious life is. We started out this morning keeping a really careful eye on the weather because the National Weather Service was predicting really severe weather and possible tornadoes. (By midmorning, a huge tornado did touch down in Yazoo City and did considerable damage and several people lost their lives.) As bad as this may sound, that was somewhat expected...I mean, you always hope that the weather calms down and doesn't get as bad as predicted, but you KNOW that the possibility/probability for severe weather is there when the forecast calls for it.

What wasn't expected was the news that one of Kevin's friend's wife had been killed in a car accident on their property. Kevin got the phone call while we were at my grandmother's for a family reunion. I didn't even know the lady, but the news broke my heart and I can't stop thinking about/praying for the family. She and her husband have a 17 year old son that has special needs that needs round the clock care. They have taken turns caring for him and doing things they need to do (like working and grocery shopping). Please pray for the Roberts' family...they're going to need the strength that only our Comforter can give in the coming weeks.

That news also made me think back to a night almost 5 years ago when I found out that my brother died in a freak 4-wheeler accident. I had been home from my junior year at MC for about a week. Earlier that night, I had gone to a friend's graduation party. I had been home for just a little while and was in a deep sleep when I heard loud knocking at the door. It was about 1:30 and no one knocks on my parents' door at that time of night unless it is an emergency. I waited to see if my mom or dad got up to answer the door, but after another knock, I decided to get up and see what was going on. My uncle and his girlfriend were at the door and he was asking for my mom. I went to my parents' bedroom, but neither of them were there. I was in a fog from being awakened so suddenly and didn't realize that her van wasn't where it was when I got home less that 2 hours before. My uncle didn't tell me at first what had happened...he told me my grandmother was sick and that she needed me to come sit with her until he could find my mom. I went to get dressed and when I came back, he told me the truth. My brother had been killed suddenly after he flipped off his 4-wheeler and it landed on his back. Needless to say, I was in complete shock...the news didn't really sink in until midmorning the next day when people started arriving at the house. I'll never forget that I went from celebrating a happy occasion with friends and in just a few short hours was mourning the loss of my big brother. Even at almost 5 years later, his not being here is strange. When I'm home, I expect him to walk through the door and do something to aggravate me. I still miss him a lot...especially when I see how Mattie Leigh does stuff like he did when we were kids. His death is one of the big reasons that I decided to get a counseling degree.

where to start?

If you've seen my facebook statuses lately, you know that we've had issues with Allie Grace's tummy. Kevin and I knew that she'd probably inherit our stomach issues...I was just hoping that it wouldn't start this early. I had already switched her to a formula specifically for gassy and fussy babies because of issues we were having with that. Then, I noticed that she seemed to be gagging a lot...not necessarily spitting up, but trying to swallow what was trying to come up. I called our doctor a few different times trying to get them to put her on medicine, but they didn't. Finally, I got really frustrated and just asked for an appointment. I knew it was reflux because we had so much trouble with Mattie Leigh when she had it. I was pleased that the doctor remembered that and just immediately put her on Zantac when we had the appointment. That has helped a lot...but we've had screaming spells from around 4 PM to 4 AM the last few days. We haven't had that so far today, so I am hoping she is over it.

If you've seen my statuses lately, you've also seen that we've had some funny Mattie Leigh moments. I have known for a while that she is verbal and has a great vocabulary, but she amazed me when I took her to the doctor for a throat infection. She told me she was "fwustwated" because the doctor looked in her throat. (I was proud...she's learning those feeling words early...like a therapist's child should.) She told Kevin recently that she thought he was a "good pweacher." We had a picnic in the backyard the other day and it was a little windy. She was talking to herself and said, "the wind is blowing my food. What am I gonna do with that wind?" My only issue with her is that she's become very stubborn with potty-training.

To borrow her word, I'm frustrated with RTS. I thought I was finished paying for everything when I finished my hours...only to find out about $200 graduation fee I HAVE to pay, even though I am not walking. I also found out that I have to pay almost $500 in tuition and fees for the winter term...I honestly thought I had paid for it, but was told I hadn't. I hate that we have to pay that much when we're trying to pay off bills and save money...along with having enough month to month.

I am also frustrated with my attitude...I find myself losing my temper easily and I HATE that. I know a lot of it is because I am so tired, but that's no excuse. I am trying to work on that before it gets any worse.