No...not that one. The one no one ever wants to hear a doctor say...CANCER. I found out December 27th that I have it. That lump I mentioned finding in October...it wasn't just a cyst like it felt like it was supposed to be. It hadn't changed or gone away at my two month follow up, so I was sent for a mammogram and ultrasound. During the ultrasound, the tech had a funny look and asked if my doctor had mentioned doing a biopsy during the ultrasound. (I pretty much knew then that something was wrong and that it wasn't good.)
Fast forward a week...I get a phone call at 5:30 from my doctor (had never gotten a personal phone call from a doctor before that) and was told that the results weren't what he was expecting. The biopsy showed stage one invasive ductal carcinoma and some ductal carcinoma in situ. I was told that it was grade one (which means it is very slow growing and not aggressive) and about two centimeters. I was told I had an appointment with a surgical oncologist for the next day (thankfully, he's the best in the area and agreed to see me BEFORE he left for vacation). He wanted a clearer picture so he scheduled me for a breast MRI the following Wednesday. He called me on his way home from vacation to let me know that he wanted to schedule surgery for the following Tuesday and let me know that there was a spot that concerned him on the right breast. We quickly discussed surgery options, but I had already decided that a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction was really my only option. He set me up to see the best plastic surgeon in the area
for my consultation on what to expect with that part of surgery and recovery.
I had surgery on January 8th. We were given an estimated surgery time of 3-4 hours. Kevin told me it was finished in about an hour. The surgical oncologist did a sentinal node biopsy to make sure the cancer hadn't started spreading to lymph nodes. All those came back negative. The cancer hadn't spread outside the lump in the left breast. The suspicious spot in the right breast appeared to be a fibrocystic mass. I was supposed to stay in the hospital for at least 2 nights, but I got to go home the next day. The nurses were amazed at how well I was doing, and one even called me Superwoman. The plastic surgeon came in to check on me and said I was doing so well and he wanted me to go home so I could actually rest.
In the two weeks since surgery, I've had three of the four drains they put in during surgery removed. I've met with my oncologist (also one of the best in the area). I found out that I'll have to have chemo...only 4 sessions over a 12 week period. I also found out that the cancer had positive receptors for estrogen and progesterone, so I'll be put on tamoxifen after chemo is over.
I'm doing really well. I wish I could do more than I can...it's hard feeling well but not having the mobility that I need to be able to do what I want. I think my attitude has had a lot to do with how well I've done through it all. I KNOW that the Lord has been there throughout...from finding the small lump, to having the best team of doctors, to having surgery two weeks after the initial diagnosis, to having minimal pain and complications, the girls doing amazingly well with their world being uprooted for two weeks and coming home to a totally different schedule, and having amazing support from family and friends.
Everyone has asked what they can do. Right now, just pray for these things:
1- I had genetic testing done to see if I have a mutated gene that makes me more likely to get breast cancer and ovarian cancer. The results should be back soon. I NEED that to be negative.
2- Pray that I continue to heal quickly and well. Pray for minimal sickness from chemo and that the reconstruction process goes smoothly.
3- Pray that the girls continue to do well with all of these changes and difficulties.
4- Pray that Kevin gets enough rest...right now, he's teaching, preaching, and having to take care of most of my responsibilities.
5- Pray that the financial burden of this will be minimal and that our insurance steps up and covers most of the cost.
There are probably tons of other things, but I can't think of them right now. I'll try to update regularly on how I'm doing and where I am in the process.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
grateful
I haven't shared this with the social media world because I was waiting on an actual diagnosis and didn't want anyone to worry about me. Now that I know what's going on, I feel comfortable sharing. On October 7, I was doing my monthly self breast exam and noticed a lump in my left breast that had not been there before. I was on my period, so I thought it could be something with that and waited and watched for a week before making an appointment with my gynecologist. During that time, I did lots of research so that I could be informed of what the pesky lump could be. Since it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, our library system actually posted this link that I found very helpful: http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/
I was about 90% sure that the lump was cyst and knew that my doctor would probably tell me to watch it for a couple months to see if it changed (went away, got bigger, became painful, or had any other noticeable changes). The lump is smooth, round, and "wiggles" which is a pretty good indicator that it's a cyst and nothing to really worry about. There was that small part of me that was still fearful of being told it was cancer...even though most cancer lumps don't move and feel sort of like a golf ball when you rub over them.
I had an appointment at 3:30 yesterday. My doctor feels confident that the lump is just a cyst. I'm supposed to check it every few days and let the office know right away if there are any changes. Otherwise, he'll check it again in 2 months. If he thinks I need to, I'll have an ultrasound done and the radiologist will either try to draw the liquid out (if it's that type) or a surgeon will remove the cyst. Until then, I've been told I have to give up caffeine (coke, tea, chocolate, etc). He also told me to take an anti-inflammatory to try to reduce the size of the cyst.
I feel so much better knowing that the pesky lump isn't serious and that it's easily treatable. Ladies, please be doing your monthly self-checks. The website I linked has an app that sends reminders. It also shows the proper technique for checking if you don't know. Also, if you find something, don't wait a long time before you get checked by your doctor...early detection is key (especially if you're young because the cancers that seem to target the under 50 age group tend to be pretty aggressive and invasive).
I was about 90% sure that the lump was cyst and knew that my doctor would probably tell me to watch it for a couple months to see if it changed (went away, got bigger, became painful, or had any other noticeable changes). The lump is smooth, round, and "wiggles" which is a pretty good indicator that it's a cyst and nothing to really worry about. There was that small part of me that was still fearful of being told it was cancer...even though most cancer lumps don't move and feel sort of like a golf ball when you rub over them.
I had an appointment at 3:30 yesterday. My doctor feels confident that the lump is just a cyst. I'm supposed to check it every few days and let the office know right away if there are any changes. Otherwise, he'll check it again in 2 months. If he thinks I need to, I'll have an ultrasound done and the radiologist will either try to draw the liquid out (if it's that type) or a surgeon will remove the cyst. Until then, I've been told I have to give up caffeine (coke, tea, chocolate, etc). He also told me to take an anti-inflammatory to try to reduce the size of the cyst.
I feel so much better knowing that the pesky lump isn't serious and that it's easily treatable. Ladies, please be doing your monthly self-checks. The website I linked has an app that sends reminders. It also shows the proper technique for checking if you don't know. Also, if you find something, don't wait a long time before you get checked by your doctor...early detection is key (especially if you're young because the cancers that seem to target the under 50 age group tend to be pretty aggressive and invasive).
Saturday, September 8, 2012
maybe the best advice ever
I've been trying for months (nine at least) to potty train Allie Grace. We'd get into a good routine with it, and then something would happen and she would have this huge relapse and we'd have to start over. This happened at least four times. She had almost gotten it in June and then ended up with an awful case of strep throat and she wasn't drinking enough to go on a schedule so we ended up back at square one again. I decided to give her a break on the process (more for me to regroup than for her).
At the end of August, I was starting the process again, but she just wasn't wanting to do it. We had a group of women from the Teen Challenge Women's Center in Brandon come speak/sing at our church on August 26. After lunch, I was speaking to the leader and she mentioned her trick for her daughter. She said the stickers, candy, money, etc. didn't work for her and she had been ready to pull her hair out when her grandmother mentioned the best piece of advice for potty training. The advice was to take your child to the store and let her pick out a doll. Explain that the doll belongs to the child if they use the potty in the potty. If they use the potty in their panties, the doll goes up on a high shelf where the child can see it but not play with it until the next time that they potty.
I wasn't sure if it would work for Allie Grace, but we went that afternoon and she picked out the toddler Dora doll. I explained the whole process to her and she said she didn't want to lose Dora and would use the potty. She even asked to go potty at the store! She has only had a handful of times of losing Dora; even those times, she has been super upset and has tried to get her back quickly (as in usually gets her back in under 30 minutes). It's been about a week since she lost her at all.
I have been amazed at the quick change. Allie Grace went straight to panties after getting Dora and we only put her in a pull up at night or when we're going to be gone for a long time and aren't sure if we'll be able to get her to a bathroom quickly. She may not always tell us if she needs to go, but she has definite signs now that she's out of pull ups. She never says, "I need to go potty." It's always, "I don't want to lose my Dora." She also gets really mad when I make her wear a pull up now and tells me they are for babies.
At the end of August, I was starting the process again, but she just wasn't wanting to do it. We had a group of women from the Teen Challenge Women's Center in Brandon come speak/sing at our church on August 26. After lunch, I was speaking to the leader and she mentioned her trick for her daughter. She said the stickers, candy, money, etc. didn't work for her and she had been ready to pull her hair out when her grandmother mentioned the best piece of advice for potty training. The advice was to take your child to the store and let her pick out a doll. Explain that the doll belongs to the child if they use the potty in the potty. If they use the potty in their panties, the doll goes up on a high shelf where the child can see it but not play with it until the next time that they potty.
I wasn't sure if it would work for Allie Grace, but we went that afternoon and she picked out the toddler Dora doll. I explained the whole process to her and she said she didn't want to lose Dora and would use the potty. She even asked to go potty at the store! She has only had a handful of times of losing Dora; even those times, she has been super upset and has tried to get her back quickly (as in usually gets her back in under 30 minutes). It's been about a week since she lost her at all.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
becoming more social
I've been taking the girls to story time at our library for several months now. Both girls have slowly been coming out of their shells around "strangers" and people they just don't see all that often. They both are actually talking and interacting with others instead of fussing or hiding behind me/wanting me to hold them.
I've also been trying to get them more involved in other activities. They are having a blast in their Sunday School class...I love hearing the stories that they share after church. They both stayed with their SheShe so that Kevin and I could go out for our anniversary. We went to pick them up and they both cried because they wanted to stay the night. That has NEVER happened before!
This week has been a super big week for them. They were invited to go to Princess Camp. It has been a week full of princess fun. Monday was dance day...some teenagers dressed up as the Disney princesses and taught the girls a simple dance. Tuesday was movie day...they had popcorn and drinks and watched Tangled. Wednesday was photo shoot day...all the girls dressed up as princesses and got to take pictures with each of the teenagers. Today was art day...the girls all got to paint princess crown canvasses. Tomorrow, they're having a tea party and learning princess manners. Tomorrow night they're going to a princess ball. Both girls have met new friends and have gotten to do things we don't always get to do very often. Check facebook and instagram for pictures from the week.
ML is asking if she can start school. I guess I'll be calling about a couple K4 programs again...called about one and no one would answer the phone and I'm fairly certain the other may be out of our price range. She's becoming a little social butterfly and wants to be around kids her age more. If any of you have kids in the 2-5 age range and want to have play dates, let me know.
I've also been trying to get them more involved in other activities. They are having a blast in their Sunday School class...I love hearing the stories that they share after church. They both stayed with their SheShe so that Kevin and I could go out for our anniversary. We went to pick them up and they both cried because they wanted to stay the night. That has NEVER happened before!
This week has been a super big week for them. They were invited to go to Princess Camp. It has been a week full of princess fun. Monday was dance day...some teenagers dressed up as the Disney princesses and taught the girls a simple dance. Tuesday was movie day...they had popcorn and drinks and watched Tangled. Wednesday was photo shoot day...all the girls dressed up as princesses and got to take pictures with each of the teenagers. Today was art day...the girls all got to paint princess crown canvasses. Tomorrow, they're having a tea party and learning princess manners. Tomorrow night they're going to a princess ball. Both girls have met new friends and have gotten to do things we don't always get to do very often. Check facebook and instagram for pictures from the week.
ML is asking if she can start school. I guess I'll be calling about a couple K4 programs again...called about one and no one would answer the phone and I'm fairly certain the other may be out of our price range. She's becoming a little social butterfly and wants to be around kids her age more. If any of you have kids in the 2-5 age range and want to have play dates, let me know.
Monday, June 11, 2012
so I'm not very good at keeping up with a blog...
I know it's been a really long time since I've posted anything on here. There have been several times that I've wanted to write something, but it wasn't at a time that I could sit and write (so I'd forgotten by the time I could do it). I miss writing...I'm hoping that I can do better at actually posting.
There's no way that I could update on everything that's happened since my last post. I do want to update anyone who might actually read this on a few things that have happened in the last few weeks.
We're in the throes of potty-training AG. She does great when she wants to...otherwise, I feel like I'm constantly cleaning her up where she's had an accident. Rewards haven't really worked for her and there have been days where I've wanted to pull my hair out trying to think of something that would help her.
ML lost her first tooth on Saturday morning...at 4 1/2 years old. I'm not sure if I should be excited for her or cry because this whole process started way before I was ready for it. She asked if the tooth fairy could bring her a light up toothbrush...kid loves toothbrushes. She also got a "fairy dollar"...a gold dollar painted with glitter paint, and a teensy little letter from the tooth fairy that was also coated in the glitter paint (fairy dust).
I've found myself getting a little emotional at times because my babies aren't babies anymore. I'm missing that stage a lot lately...guess I'll just play with all the babies around me until it's time for us to have #3 (which will most likely still be a while).
I can't think of anything else interesting that has happened recently...we're just all hanging out at home for the most part now that Kevin is on summer break. Maybe I can think of some good posts to write in the next few weeks.
There's no way that I could update on everything that's happened since my last post. I do want to update anyone who might actually read this on a few things that have happened in the last few weeks.
We're in the throes of potty-training AG. She does great when she wants to...otherwise, I feel like I'm constantly cleaning her up where she's had an accident. Rewards haven't really worked for her and there have been days where I've wanted to pull my hair out trying to think of something that would help her.
ML lost her first tooth on Saturday morning...at 4 1/2 years old. I'm not sure if I should be excited for her or cry because this whole process started way before I was ready for it. She asked if the tooth fairy could bring her a light up toothbrush...kid loves toothbrushes. She also got a "fairy dollar"...a gold dollar painted with glitter paint, and a teensy little letter from the tooth fairy that was also coated in the glitter paint (fairy dust).
I've found myself getting a little emotional at times because my babies aren't babies anymore. I'm missing that stage a lot lately...guess I'll just play with all the babies around me until it's time for us to have #3 (which will most likely still be a while).
I can't think of anything else interesting that has happened recently...we're just all hanging out at home for the most part now that Kevin is on summer break. Maybe I can think of some good posts to write in the next few weeks.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
finally some answers!
We've been dealing with some major tummy issues with Mattie Leigh for a while now...since early March at least. After being told to try a few things to help her feel better and several tests that came back normal, we were not closer to an answer at the beginning of the summer. I decided to try a few things on my own to see if I could figure out what was going on. The main thing I did was take gluten out of her diet as much as possible. We noticed positive changes to how she was feeling within 48 hours. We kept her off gluten for almost a month before letting her have some early in July...all the positives disappeared within 2 days and she once again felt terrible. I KNEW then that gluten was somehow involved in her stomach issues and took her off it again. Since then, we've kept her off for a few weeks and then challenged her system by letting her have a couple meals with it.
We were scheduled to see her GI in August, but her appointment was rescheduled to September 19. The nurse asked how she was doing since we last saw them and I explained what changes we'd made and the improvements we saw. The doctor came in and was surprised at how much better Mattie Leigh looked. In a few months time of being off wheat, her hair and nails are growing well again, her skin isn't so pale, the dark circles have nearly disappeared from under her eyes, her appetite is better, she's gained almost 3 pounds, her attitude has improved tremendously, and her stomach rarely ever hurts like it was for a while. The doctor decided right away that Mattie Leigh did have some form of gluten intolerance (even though the markers for celiac disease came back normal) and said that we need to keep her mostly gluten free for the next year when we can really challenge her system and reevaluate.
I *think* part of her stomach upset comes from her nerves. Kid is REALLY high-strung and gets upset very easily. I think she may have picked up more on the months that Kevin wasn't teaching than we thought she had at first...pretty sure that added to her already high-strung nerves and made her stomach issues worse. We shielded her from as much of it as we could, but since she's so smart, she still picked up on more than I wanted her to.
All that to say, that I'm so glad we finally have some answers to what was going on for so long with her stomach. Now I'm working on figuring out things that will help her learn how to let us know how she's feeling (other than losing it and throwing a fit).
We were scheduled to see her GI in August, but her appointment was rescheduled to September 19. The nurse asked how she was doing since we last saw them and I explained what changes we'd made and the improvements we saw. The doctor came in and was surprised at how much better Mattie Leigh looked. In a few months time of being off wheat, her hair and nails are growing well again, her skin isn't so pale, the dark circles have nearly disappeared from under her eyes, her appetite is better, she's gained almost 3 pounds, her attitude has improved tremendously, and her stomach rarely ever hurts like it was for a while. The doctor decided right away that Mattie Leigh did have some form of gluten intolerance (even though the markers for celiac disease came back normal) and said that we need to keep her mostly gluten free for the next year when we can really challenge her system and reevaluate.
I *think* part of her stomach upset comes from her nerves. Kid is REALLY high-strung and gets upset very easily. I think she may have picked up more on the months that Kevin wasn't teaching than we thought she had at first...pretty sure that added to her already high-strung nerves and made her stomach issues worse. We shielded her from as much of it as we could, but since she's so smart, she still picked up on more than I wanted her to.
All that to say, that I'm so glad we finally have some answers to what was going on for so long with her stomach. Now I'm working on figuring out things that will help her learn how to let us know how she's feeling (other than losing it and throwing a fit).
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Max and Ruby
***I totally forgot to write this post on Saturday.
Last Thursday, Eat Jackson let me know that I was a finalist for the Max and Ruby Bunny Party show tickets and Brent's Drugs gift certificate. As soon as the voting page was up, I let all our family and friends know to vote and tell all their friends to vote. I apologize for filling your facebook newsfeeds and twitter feeds with posts begging for votes.
At first, it looked like another girl was going to take the lead and keep it in the votes. She got a lot of votes right at the beginning. I got a little sad because I REALLY wanted our girls to get to go to the show. Max and Ruby is probably their favorite show to watch...they have a lot of "favorites" but this one is special to both of them.
Sometime Thursday night, we started getting a lot more votes. A lot of that had to do with my brother and sister-in-law getting the word out to vote for us...they got a bunch of people to vote. We got in the lead with votes then and stayed in the lead after that. I knew before Eat Jackson announced it that we'd won...I was glued to the voting page to make sure no one took a last minute lead!
We told the girls that we would have a special day on Saturday and that we would go to a new restaurant that we hadn't taken them to yet and then go to a special show. Mattie was convinced that we were going to see the Berenstain Bears...I have no clue how she came up with that.
We went to our church work day for a few hours and then headed to Jackson to pick up our tickets and go to lunch. Kevin and I got cheeseburgers, Mattie got a junior cheeseburger, and Allie Grace got a grilled cheese. We shared mine and Kevin's orders of fries and onion rings. Then, we got milkshakes (our favorite part of the meal)! We'll definitely be going back, especially for dessert.
After lunch, we headed back to the convention complex so we could get in our seats for the show. Mattie had seen the sign for the show outside but apparently didn't think much of it because she still thought we were going to see the Berenstain Bears. It wasn't until we got to the table where they were selling shirts/toys that she realized that we were going to see Max and Ruby. Her expression was absolutely priceless!
The show was great...it took a few of the TV episodes and combined them to make them something new. Mattie waved at Max, Ruby, Louise, and Grandma and talked to them like she was on the stage with them. Allie Grace jumped up and down in my arms...she was so excited to see them.
I have over 60 pictures that I took from the day...go to my facebook page to look at most of them.
Last Thursday, Eat Jackson let me know that I was a finalist for the Max and Ruby Bunny Party show tickets and Brent's Drugs gift certificate. As soon as the voting page was up, I let all our family and friends know to vote and tell all their friends to vote. I apologize for filling your facebook newsfeeds and twitter feeds with posts begging for votes.
At first, it looked like another girl was going to take the lead and keep it in the votes. She got a lot of votes right at the beginning. I got a little sad because I REALLY wanted our girls to get to go to the show. Max and Ruby is probably their favorite show to watch...they have a lot of "favorites" but this one is special to both of them.
Sometime Thursday night, we started getting a lot more votes. A lot of that had to do with my brother and sister-in-law getting the word out to vote for us...they got a bunch of people to vote. We got in the lead with votes then and stayed in the lead after that. I knew before Eat Jackson announced it that we'd won...I was glued to the voting page to make sure no one took a last minute lead!
We told the girls that we would have a special day on Saturday and that we would go to a new restaurant that we hadn't taken them to yet and then go to a special show. Mattie was convinced that we were going to see the Berenstain Bears...I have no clue how she came up with that.
We went to our church work day for a few hours and then headed to Jackson to pick up our tickets and go to lunch. Kevin and I got cheeseburgers, Mattie got a junior cheeseburger, and Allie Grace got a grilled cheese. We shared mine and Kevin's orders of fries and onion rings. Then, we got milkshakes (our favorite part of the meal)! We'll definitely be going back, especially for dessert.
After lunch, we headed back to the convention complex so we could get in our seats for the show. Mattie had seen the sign for the show outside but apparently didn't think much of it because she still thought we were going to see the Berenstain Bears. It wasn't until we got to the table where they were selling shirts/toys that she realized that we were going to see Max and Ruby. Her expression was absolutely priceless!
The show was great...it took a few of the TV episodes and combined them to make them something new. Mattie waved at Max, Ruby, Louise, and Grandma and talked to them like she was on the stage with them. Allie Grace jumped up and down in my arms...she was so excited to see them.
I have over 60 pictures that I took from the day...go to my facebook page to look at most of them.
This is when she first realized we were going to see Max and Ruby.
Waving to the characters...not a great pic but she was so excited
This is my favorite picture of the day! She was so excited she didn't know what to do. (I realize she looks pitiful...combo of taking a picture with my phone and the fact that she's felt awful for the last few months with her stomach.)
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